i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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