Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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