Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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