ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Quick, to the slutcave!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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