You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
