He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
