Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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