Who did Billy Mays play for?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
