i just google imaged poop.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you didnt know i had herpes?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
