Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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