I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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