My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
