god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
