I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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