she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
