So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
