Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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