My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
