We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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