the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize