Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Alive.
So much puke
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
