Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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