so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
