Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Come share oat with me in your robe
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
