she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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