have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
