let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
