Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
