who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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