and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
