Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
