some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
