Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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