I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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