I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
