carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
This house was built for laser tag.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
