i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
