So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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