that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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