I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
