After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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