Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
