I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
