just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Congratulations! We have a period
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