trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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