No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
