The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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