So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
