yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
