He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
